Next To Me
by Leasbian
Summary: There's emotional sex.


**Author's Nose: I started this off when I was listening to Next To Me by Civil Twilight. So, it is recommended that you listen to that song. Not while reading this but maybe before you read it. It's not required. Let me know what you think of this little one-shot. **

**I don't own these characters. But, if I did, they would deal with things for more than one episode. I am not making any profit, because if I did...well...we all know I would be in California trying to with the love of Sasha Alexander. **

* * *

The streetlights provided the only light available. The sun would be rising in just a matter of hours. My breath was visible, and I wished for the streetlamps to provide possibly some heat. My cruiser was at the station. Where I left it. I needed to walk. The case was getting to me in more ways than I was proud of. But, I didn't know how far I'd walked until I realized I was standing on the street in front of Maura's house. All of her lights were off. She was obviously asleep somewhere in that large home. I emptied the air from my cheeks as I shoved my hands into my coat pockets. I was cold.

Her house was warm. The type of warm you wake up to on a Christmas morning. When there's Christmas songs playing and hot chocolate waiting for you. When everything felt like home.

Maura was home. Her bed? If her house was warm, her bed could only be described as scorching. Maura wore a night gown. It was blue. Teal, she would say.

She rolled over into my arms and smiled. "You're home." She hummed. Her eyes cracked only slightly.

I smiled down at her. "I am."

"How is your case?" Although she'd known the details, it was like Maura really didn't know a thing about what I was working on. Three women. Blondes. Thirties. Lesbians. The case was very specific and Maura fit the M.O. down to a tee.

"We'll get the guy." I wasn't committed to the promise but whatever made her feel safe at night.

She must have sensed it. The pain I felt. The worry in my chest like glue. Her eyes moved then she blinked a few times until green orbs focused on me. She smiled. I smiled back. "What is bothering you specifically about this case, Jane?"

I sighed and rolled over. We'd had this discussion nine times. I wasn't allowed to worry. I was only allowed to do my job and try not to see her every time I looked at the photos of those battered women.

"Jane, I'm serious." She was still tired. But, she rested her chin on my shoulder. Maura was persistent and it was a quality I'd admired until now. "It will help if you talk about it." Counseling techniques. She had no idea I knew of her counseling. Although, I'd been the cause of it. My constant scares. Shooting myself. Running into a glass window. Jumping in front of a moving car to stop a suspect. Walking into the middle of a bank robbery. I scared her and she thought she needed the help.

"No." I closed my eyes and tried to make myself comfortable. I knew I wasn't going to get any sleep but maybe if I pretended to sleep...

She sighed, clearly frustrated. And that was usually the emotion Maura tried to avoid in the morning. She reached over me to the bedside drawer. I already knew what she was reaching for. But, it wasn't going to work. Not this time. I couldn't just simply ignore it. She was a potential victim. Nothing would settle my nerves. Nothing but catching the son of a bitch who killed those women.

I could hear it clanking around the drawer. I could feel her fumbling around for it. Until I couldn't hear anything anymore. I opened my eyes but she'd already retreated to her side of the bed.

"Not now, Maura." I tried to sound ragged. Aggrieved. But, it truly came out as dubious.

"Put it on, Jane." She instructed.

"No."

"_Now._"

I turned and looked at her. Her expression was serious. So serious it almost scared me. She stared back at me, unmoving. Unrelenting. I had a feeling if I didn't put it on, she was going to put it on me, herself.

"Why?" I'm aware I tend to become a child when things don't go my way. I'm a bit immature and I've been working on it. You know, when I have the time to care what others think. I crossed my arms across my chest, and I may have pouted a little. Whatever, that's not important.

"Are you prepared for the truth?" She cocked her head to the side a little. Her green eyes almost glowed in the dark. I could see them. If I couldn't see anything else, I could see her eyes. And they saw right through me.

"Yes." I wanted to laugh to make the moment a little less awkward. But, I think that would have made it even more awkward. And possibly would have pissed her off some. So, I coughed.

"When you are aggravated for no exceptional reason at all," She paused for a moment, as if she was thinking about her wording. That was Maura, even when she was completely pissed at you for being pissed at her for no reason, she didn't want to offend you in any way when she confronted you about it. "You have the tendency to become...infantile and malicious. You become spiteful. Malevolent. It is very hard to deal with. It is very infuriating, Jane."

"I think somewhere in there...you called me a bitch."

"I never said that word."

"But, you wanted to."

"I did."

I smiled. She didn't. This was the kind of serious that scared me. It was too early in the morning for her to be mad at me like this.

"Put it on." She instructed again. This time she shoved it into my lap, and I knew I didn't have a choice. I sighed and grabbed the harness. I carried it into the bathroom as if it were a thong that belonged to someone else. When I returned, she was in the middle of our bed. Waiting. Ready. She looked at me. Her eyes scraped my entire body and they felt like nails. I could feel her trail. From my own eyes down to the harness and where the dildo hang loosely next to my leg. She smiled but it vanished quickly and I was beginning to wonder if Maura had some sort of personality disorder I was wasn't aware of.

"Come here." She instructed. But, she didn't need to tell me twice for that. I may have been stubborn before but now that I had it on. Now that I felt like the dominant in our relationship, I wasn't going to pass up the opportunity to fuck Maura into submission. Into letting me worry.

She lifted the comforter for me and I slid in. Next to the bed, on the nightstand was a small bottle of lube. She looked at it then back to me. As if she was deciding on if she would need it.

I never liked to use the lube. I always wanted her to be wet enough. So, I kissed her. Hard. And it was hectic. Our lips everywhere, sucking and pulling. Biting. Grunts escaping me, moans escaping her. It was cannibalistic. I pulled her bottom lip and she tingled her fingers in my hair and pulled. Our sex was never like this...unless it was like this. We didn't like pain. Neither of us enjoyed it. But, there were times we were so angry with each other and so turned on by one another, the pain was a byproduct.

I kissed her neck. Sucked on her pulse point. Bit it. Then pressed my tongue against it. She wasn't moaning enough and I was determined to change this. I wanted her to be screaming my name. I wanted her to let me in. I kissed down to her nipples and they were red and waiting for me. She wanted me. No matter how much this seemed like it would do more good for me than her. She wanted this. She needed this. That was a start.

I wrapped my teeth around her left nipple. I sucked at first, preparing it for the damage I was about to do. If she could scream in pleasure, she was going to have to do it in pain. She must have been aware of this because she braced herself. Her fingers slid from my hair and her nails dug into my back, even before I'd started.

I bit down. Not too hard at first. Just enough to get a sound out of her. She yelped from the surprise rather the pain. I licked the tip of it as I bit down more. My tongue and my teeth were working together. The harder I bit, the more I licked. But, she didn't scream.

I rolled my eyes in frustration and moved over the other nipple. This time, I didn't try to tease it. I didn't try to prepare it. I just bit down. And the noise she made this time was actually a moan. It was loud. But, she'd been so surprised by the first one, she let another one slip.

She was going to scream for me.

I bit down her body. I could see the red marks I'd left. The indents in her skin from my teeth. I'd promised her I'd never leave a mark on her body. But, I knew in an hour those marks would be gone. And it would be as if right now never happened.

Her clit was hard. And I knew she would pull my hair and scratch my back until I saw white if I bit down on that. So, I decided the best course of action would be to suck on it. Not gently. Not like I was before. No, I was going to suck on it until she acknowledged there might be a God in Heaven and she called for him.

Her hips bucked into me then they rolled into me, trying to get the right friction. She was riding this out but her moans still weren't loud enough. As I sucked, the flat of my tongue pressed down hard against her with its own volition.

I didn't want her to come yet. I wanted to be inside of her when that happened. So, I pulled away. And she whimpered. That's what I'm talking about. I grunted. I slid a finger through her folds and she was dripping wet. She was ready. I wasted no time, though. I guided the rubber cock into her and she held her breath. I knew it didn't hurt. She just didn't want to give into me.

I grabbed onto Maura's hips, and I pulled her closer to me. She exhaled. I hadn't realized I was doing it until my right arm guided her left leg up to my shoulder. Her skin was soft. Her calf flexed beneath my fingers. She wrapped her other leg around my waist.

She moaned. I smiled. Then I pushed. And something that sounded more like a grunt escaped her lips. She clenched her jaw. But I knew it wouldn't take long. Maura loved me being inside of her. She loved the feel of my fingers or my temporary cock inside of her. More than she loved the feel of tongue against her clit. She wanted me inside of her.

Her breaths turned into grunts. Her grunts turned into moans. Her moans turned into words.

"Jane," She reached up and cupped my neck. My thrusts were slow and hard. "Faster." She begged.

"Let me worry." I demanded. "Let me worry..." A thrust. "About you." I grunted.

"No." She moaned. Her fingers slid down to my chest and her palms were flat against me. "More." She encouraged.

I shook my head. "Let." Thrust. "Me." Thrust. "Worry." I emphasized with a harder thrust.

She cried out. "You don't have..." I went in deeper. This sound where somewhere between a hiccup and a sigh. "To worry."

"I need to protect you." I was starting to sweat.

"Be here."

"Fuck, Maura." I groaned but I didn't stop my pace. This was torturous for her and I was going to get what I wanted. "Let me fucking love you..." I couldn't help but moan when the harness slapped against my clit. "The way I want to."

"You." She closed her eyes. "Would." I pushed in just a little deeper. "Never be here."

She was right. If she let me love her the way I wanted to, I would never be home. I would always be at the station trying to catch every murderer out there. I would be protecting her by doing my job. But, I didn't know how to not love her that way. And I think that was the problem. She didn't need me to protect her from everyone else. Fuck, she really didn't even need protection as long as I was home with her.

"You are so casual." She whispered. "With your life." She needed to protect me. That was why she needed me home. She was afraid of the same thing I was. She was afraid of the same men I was. Instead, she was safely at home. And I was actively pursuing these men. I went to their homes. I followed them into dark alleys at night. I was the victim. Countless times, I'd let myself fall victim of these men and I told myself I protecting her.

I stopped. Her eyes opened slowly and she knew I'd come to the realization I needed to see.

"I am letting you love me." Her voice was calm. We weren't fighting anymore. "But, you have to let me love you as well."

I nodded. And I gave her what she wanted. I moved my hips again, this time at a faster pace. We didn't break eye contact. She said my name and I smiled. It was dark. And the streetlights were the only light provided. But, if I couldn't see anything else...I could see her eyes. And they saw right through me.


End file.
